Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Why Our Children Hate Us

It seems that more than any other time in the past, these days we find many children who hate and despise their parents. Although we as parents are not perfect and we make mistakes in our efforts to raise them to be productive adults; are there things we are doing to warrant their hatred?  What did the parents of yesterday have that the parents of today seem to be missing?
Whether you believe it or not, children expect and respect boundaries set down for them.  Many of the parents today allow their children to do what they want.  You will find time and time again on television programs and talk shows parents who are begging someone, ANYONE, to help them with their disrespectful, out-of-control children.  They, the parents, failed to say no when it needed to be said, backed down , or just let them run the show.  We are supposed to be the first examples of authority for our children. How are they suppose to respect the authority of the parent if there has never been established any guidelines, instructions or rules?  When they go out in to society they will become bitter, angry and rebellious to any one in a position over them and they will point their finger back at you.  You have heard the stories; “When I was growing up, my Mom allowed me to have my boyfriend to sleep over night, my parents bought me everything that I wanted.  They never said no.”   You find them boldly strutting onto the stages of mainstream talk shows stating that they feel they should always get their way.  The people around them hate to see them coming; even you the parents.  And they have no comprehension of why they are hated.
Another thing that has broken down the family unit is the separatist attitude we have adopted.  In the past families ate together and prayed together.  Parents sat down with their children and helped them with their homework and asked about their daily affairs.  They also monitored their children’s activities with a stern but loving eye.  Today everyone is doing his own thing.  The parents work from sun up to sun down.  They come home and order fast food delivery or pop a TV dinner into the oven and sit in front of the television exhausted.  The children pick something from the fridge, throw on a headset and carelessly, eat, dance and do homework all at the same time. Sometimes they simply hang out and eat with friends.
Our children hate us because we are liars and we teach them to lie.  We have become a “do as I say not as I do” type of people.  It is astonishing the expectations some people have for their children while not living up to these expectations ourselves.  How do we lie and teach them to lie?  Here are a few examples:
·        Tell them I’m not home now sweetie.
·        Smoking is bad: DON’T SMOKE, when you actually smoke yourself.  The message you sent is, “I’m a hypocritical liar and smoking is ok.”
·        Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, and Cupid: FOR REAL???!!!
We have the audacity to turn around after teaching them all of this and expect them to be truthful; NOT!!!!
Over the years as we have striven to obtain better materialistic lifestyles for our children; we have neglected sound upbringing.  We are so far from our children that we ourselves can’t teach them anything.  He’s having trouble in school; he goes to the school psychologist.  He can’t read well, he goes to the reading specialist.  He wants to have sex and is only ten; he goes to the sex therapist. Do we sit down and actually teach our children anything?  We must take the time out to sit with our children, teach them, express our love, listen to them and also befriend them. We must lay our children’s foundation right.  We must lay this foundation down with good sound morals and consistent quality upbringing.  The way we treat our children today will determine who they will be tomorrow.  The commitment or non-commitment we make in their lives will determine if they will grow to hate us.